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December 1, 2019: Lizard People, “Jesus’ Lost Years with Ptolemy Slocum” Let’s kick off the advent calendar with my favorite Jesus conspiracy theory ever, and maybe one of my favorite podcast episodes ever. Ptolemy Slocum explains to Katelyn Hempstead his theory that Jesus’ missing years, the years for which we have no biblical stories, JC was in India studying Buddhism. This would explain a lot of his teachings, which align more closely with Buddhism than Judaism. My favorite part of the episode is when Ptolemy talks about the three wise men, who may have been wealthy travelers in search of the next Buddhist profit. It’s not often I get a podcast episode about my favorite part of the Bible—Jesus’ birth story—mixed with history and humor. I’m somewhat convinced. Are you?

December 2, 2019: The first episode of The Kibitz Podcast dives into Chanukah with comedian Moshe Kasher and his brother Rabbi David Kasher, perfect latke making with Chef Micah Wexler, Host Dan Crane's grandmother, Ronna and Beverly, and the Skylar brothers. It's hilarious and informative. Essential holiday listening, especially if you are Jewish, and even more especially if you are not.

December 3, 2019: THE COMPLETE CHRISTMAS IS HERE! From Earios, the story of Marabel May (Amanda Lund,) a housewife who, driven mad from holiday stress, decides to cancel Christmas! The writing is genius & the jokes are fast. It's all I want for Christmas.

December 4, 2019: ARGUING ABOUT CHRISTMAS ON See Something Say Something! Ahmed Ali Akbar is not a big fan, but brings on Eid Elfs Tanzila “Taz” Ahmed and Salimah Fatimah Mohamed, who can appreciate the season. They all play games and discuss the difference between Christmas and Eid, and answer the question: what even is a Muslim Christmas, is it even a thing?

December 5, 2019: On "Kentucky Fried Christmas" Brought To You By… explores KFC + Japanese Xmas—a story that involves a small boy's dreams, nuns, Colonel Sanders, and 1 big fat lie. Featuring the fantastic Sally Herships, my Radio Boot Camp teacher at Union Docs!

December 6, 2019: Merry Christmas? The Last Podcast on the Left does a great episode on the dark side of Santa Claus, Santa's occult origins and his connections to the devil. And oh! It's pretty funny.

December 7, 2019: On Back Story's "Being Santa," Brian Balogh talks to professional Santa Claus Tyrone Jones about being a black Santa and how kids DGAF. It's heart-warming! Santa Tyrone rules.

December 8, 2019: Do you know ANYTHING about Kwanzaa? Minority Korner is leading the Kwanzaa charge with a Kwanzaa episode that everyone should listen to. Have some respect! Take the Kwanzaa Kwizz and consider celebrating this year. Prepare to get Kwanzaa’d!

December 9, 2019: On a great Judge John Hodgman episode, Judge John Hodgman and Jesse Thorn counsel newlyweds who have different ideas of how they should spend Christmas. Sometimes these episodes are silly, but this one feels more serious and complicated. The judge has GREAT advice.

December 10, 2019: On this 99% Invisible and Allusionist crossover episode, Helen Zaltzman joins to discuss Winterval and its impact on the war on Christmas, and how Charles Dickens became a synonym for the hearty merry “God bless us every one” Christmas.

December 11, 2019: A show I love, Bad Science, has an episode that breaks down the scientifically inaccurate elements of Home Alone with Dr. Arjan Gower & Comedian Josh Adam Meyers. Home Alone may be somewhat scientifically inaccurate, sure. But don’t worry it’s still a perfect film. Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!

December 12, 2019: From Rebecca Lehrer and Amy S. Choi on Mash Up Americans, how to be the best non-Jew at a Hannukah party. This episode smells like sugar and fried potatoes.

December 13, 2019: On The Ezra Klein Show, Peter Singer (ANIMAL LIBERATION/THE LIFE YOU CAN SAVE) talks about why we don't give to those less fortunate and how *exactly* we should. In lieu of buying people crappy gifts this year, you could literally save a life.

December 14, 2019: The Truth's Naughty or Nice is a lovely, funny little story about an elf who is newly hired in Santa's Naughty or Nice department, and finds philosophical issues with the process.

December 15, 2019: HOME ALONE on The Bechdel Cast—Kate is the family breadwinner, Kevin has a feminine side, and the McCallisters can afford $114 in pizza. It doesn't pass the Bechdel Test but it's still a holiday classic.

December 16, 2019: Switched On Pop uses a scientific formula for holiday hit success to break down what makes this dreamlike song so timeless. If you think you're sick of this song, listen to this episode to get new appreciation for it. And if it makes you cry, find out why.

December 17, 2019: On Iconography, Charles Gustine brings us an episode about Ebenezer Scrooge and A Christmas Carol, a story that has been retold hundreds of times. How has it remained so relevant? And how did Dickens write a miserable character with such empathy?

December 18, 2019: On Pretend, a wild Christmas story you probably haven't heard before. John Gluck, a con man tries to save Christmas. It’s the strange and true story of government agents, spies, an art thief, U.S. presidents, and gun-toting boy scouts.

December 19, 2019: The First Mrs. Claus asks us to consider what the Santa Claus story would look like if we found out that everything we know about Christmas is a lie, and that Hot Coco, Santa's first girlfriend before Mrs. Claus, is really the brains behind the whole Christmas operation. Coco's story puts a en empowering feminist slant on the Santa Claus story, and it adds a lot of campy humor. (The Elves are paid in poppers.) Starring Michelle Visage, Lewis Black, RuPaul, Kristin Chenoweth, Cecil Baldwin, and more...it's very silly and a lot of fun. This show was created for people who love Drag Race. Those people, in particular, will feel this show was made just for them.

December 20, 2019: The Home Alone Tragedy—WHO'S TO BLAME? The Alarmist is ALL OVER IT. I watch Home Alone several times a year as a comedy, but it is TRULY tragic. As always, The Alarmist asks the tough questions. It's the hardcore journalism we need! I am serious!

December 21: On Bizarre Albums, Tony Thaxton explores the 1994 Christmas album from Tales From The Crypt. You know, those classic Christmas songs you loved as a child such as "Deck the Halls with Parts of Charlie." How did this album happen?!

December 22: There are few Hanukkah holiday TV specials, The Rugrats Hanukkah special is the best. Saturday Morning Cartoons recaps it!

December 23: I couldn't pick just ONE Christmas Past episode, so I picked two. 1) Christmas can be scary, too! An Xmas ghost story, The Strange Christmas Game and 2) The surprising history of Silent Night. (It started as an accident.)

December 24: While you're cooking/wrapping gifts, turn on this episode of What Makes U Sing?—Larry Owens sings Christmas songs. He has the voice OF AN ANGEL, and he brings real life and humor to these songs. Oddly emotional.

December 25: It's the moment I have been waiting for all Xmas season. Jamie Loftus's 🎅🏻SANTA UNIVERSITY🎅🏻 is here. Bless us every one, and to all a good night! This podcast advent calendar is FINISHED.