Barbara Gray

Barbara Gray is a comedian and writer, and co-host of Lady To Lady and Britney’s Gram. Follow Lady To Lady on Twitter here, and follow Britney’s Gram on Twitter here. Follow Babs on Twitter here.

How did you meet your Lady To Lady co-hosts, Tess and Brandie?
Tess and Brandie and I met in the comedy circuit of Los Angeles around 2008. Tess had already been doing it for a few years, and Brandie and I started around the same time, and met because we were both taking classes at UCB. The curse of falling in love with doing standup is that you find yourself doing it every single night, multiple times a night, no matter how dank the basement, no matter how much the people in the cafe working on their screenplays do not want to hear about your Tinder dates, if someone puts a microphone in that corner, you're going to be there. So you end up seeing the same people over and over at these mics and you form a bond from being in the trenches together, as it were. 

Did you have a hard time explaining podcasting to people when you launched Lady to Lady almost 10 years ago, before podcasting was cool? 
Almost 10 years ago, oh my god! I truly can't believe it's been that long. At first we were a live talk show and the guy who ran the theater, David Janove, suggested we do a podcast. He had the insight that podcasting was going to be the next big thing. By that time everyone knew what they were but of course they hadn't blown up in the way they have now. 

You foresaw something ominous about Britney Spears’ Instagram before anyone else. How is that so, and what made you and Tess want to start a podcast about it?
I think anyone paying attention would have foreseen something ominous, if not about her instagram, at least about the situation Britney is in. There's been some good journalism about the conservatorship that was in the back of our minds when we'd look at her posts, but honestly the podcast wasn't started to be about that. It was just like, look, here's a super niche idea, and we already share her posts and dissect them between us, so why don't we make a podcast about it? I wanted to do something super focused since there is so many podcasts now. It started out as a really stupid idea, and while we would comment on the sometimes dark nature of her posts, we truly had no clue what it was going to turn into. 

Having a podcast about Britney Spears’ wellbeing can’t be without controversy, right? What has the reaction been, both good and bad?
It's like anything else - the people who get it, get it. The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive, because many of her fans had suspicions that something was not right for a long time. 

Women podcasters are often criticized for their voices. What’s your relationship with yours?
I've never heard this! Fuck whoever's saying this!

At the end of Lady To Lady, you always have a Lady Problems segment where you help someone with a problem. I remember thinking that was unusual at the time you started doing it, because you have a comedy show, but then the three of you get super earnest and helpful, you are good listeners, you pour your hearts into your answers, and you spend a lot of time with your listeners’ problems. How did that idea come about? Why was it important?
Lady to Lady is a comedy podcast first, but it's centered around women talking and relating to each other, which is still on the rare side in media these days. Having female friends who you can just gab with, be honest about yourself and your faults, and laugh about all of it, is a blessing. So Lady Problems seemed like it made sense as an extension of the show, because although a lot of the time we are messing around, it's also about having a community of women who support you when you're in need. Also as comedians I think we're naturally always striving to be insightful, and all three of us are endowed with a decent amount of empathy so that combined makes us good people to reach out to. Although I feel bad for the people who write in with problems about their fancy business careers because I have no idea what that's like. 

How would you describe your listeners?  
The best. Truly the best. That's all I got. I just love them. And a lot of them are brunette?

There are so many funny women who have tried to host successful podcasts. Why has Lady To Lady been such a success?
Starting when we did was huge, before everyone had a podcast. I think that and our consistency. We have missed, what, less than 10 episodes in 8 years? Maybe less? I don't keep track, but we are super consistent and intent on making sure we show up and deliver every week. We have developed such a repor that we can really do it in our sleep now. Of course there will be a dud episode here or there where we're exhausted or have run out of things to say, but overall I think our consistency has really solidified our dynamic in such a way that we can keep pumping out good episodes. 

What do you hope Lady To Lady does for people?
Make people laugh! That's all I ever want! I want people to hear me admit embarrassing shit about myself while they are on the subway and to snort laugh and have everyone around them give them a weird look. Beyond that, knowing that we help people through hard times, give women some funny and strong women to listen to, and leave a time capsule of regret for my old self to uncover in the nursing home someday.

I think it’s sometimes hard to have 3 hosts, but you seem to manage it beautifully. How do you balance that? Would you recommend people to have 3 hosts?
Since we started out as a talk show that was kind of like our version of The View, it just made sense to have three of us. I think it really helps because there's always someone there to pick up the slack. Of course it can be a little easier to get into it with a two person show, but knowing each of us can rely on the other to fill in the gaps is really nice. I only recommend working with anybody if you have good chemistry with them, and if you know they're going to work just as hard as you. Nobody wants to be stuck with the guy in the group project who didn't do jack shit. 

You share a lot of personal stuff on the show. Is that tough to do? Do you ever share things you wish you wouldn’t have?
I've always been a very open person, for better or for worse, so it's easy for me. I'm more of a "put it out there and don't ever think about it again" person. It has come back to bite me in the ass before, with a family member hearing something they don't want to hear, but really you have to remember when you're a comedian and it comes to family, it's not for them. Tess and I talk about this all the time but we're like oh god it would be a nightmare to sit and listen to old episodes and hear all the stuff we've revealed. But I think that's obviously part of why people want to listen, it's juicy. Some listeners have told us it emboldens them to be themselves which feels amazing. I mean, I am who I am. I'm not ashamed of it, and I feel really happy to have gone through the journey of growing up a bit and loving myself on the podcast as listeners grow along with us. That being said, I often meet listeners who don't know how to act because they feel like they've been reading my diary for 10 years.

Has podcasting helped your comedy career?
Yes! Our listeners are everywhere, it's so cool. This is one thing I can say, if you are a fan of a comedian, support their live shows! When the bookers see that you have a following that's the stuff they pay attention to. I remember doing a show in London and a listener coming out and the guy who booked me, not knowing if i was just some random crappy comic, was like oh damn okay. It gives you some legitimacy which is huge in this industry because there are approximately 10 billion comedians.

What are your biggest hopes and dreams for the show? Movie deal? Action figures? A theme park?
There's so many options for where it can go! We love to tour, doing a standup show and a live podcast, and we're refining that process every time we do it. A talk show on TV would be a dream, I mean, if we got to really make the decisions and it didn't dilute us, I feel like so many talk shows have died because they didn't just let the person make their own show. The podcast is just us riffing on our every day lives, but when we write narrative stuff together we actually have a really weird, slapsticky voice, and I'd love to make a show together or many a narrative podcast or something like that. It's like everything else, I have a million ideas but just need to focus on one!

Can you give us a few podcast recommendations?
I only listen to a few! I have a really hard time listening to them and doing something else at the same time, so I can only listen if I'm walking or driving. I would say my biggest recommendations are Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer and Swindled by a Concerned Citizen. 

What’s the most surprising podcast in your library?
Ugh I need to listen to more. I've been listening to really bad audio books that are basically Lifetime movies. 

Are there too many podcasts?
Yes. But I kinda love it. I can't wait to see how big it can get. 

Thanks, Barbara!